Stateam eu pe veceu si ma gandeam la cea mai ursareasca inventie posibila de pe Pamant. Cum ar fi, ca cineva sa inventeze o masina de Shape Shifting, sa te faca femeie sau barbat pe o perioada limitata. Pfoaaai cat de tare ar fi. Sa ma fac eu femeie pentru o saptamana, hmmmm !
In primul si in primul rand as vrea sa vad cum dracu e sa mergi cu o pasarica intre picioare si nu cu trei organe in acelasi timp, cum e ca femeie sa te pisi din picioare si cum e sa stii ca ai intre picioare cea mai puternica arma din lume.
Inevitabil, odata dus la baie, as incerca sa agat si un baiat, si sa-mi rupa mitra sa vad cum e sa-mi intre ceva in mine si l-as injura pe prost intr-una, ca stiu ca nu o sa-mi faca nimic, shau o sa vrea sa continuie ce a inceput. I-as suge “comandantul” sa vad cum e sa faci si chestia asta (ATENTIE !!! Nu e gluma )
As pleca prin oras sa vad daca in fata magazinului Gucci am acelasi instinct de a sparge seminte si a ma freca la oua sau daca apare o lumina mare ce ma atrage inauntrul magazinului ( nu stiu, eu asa-mi imaginez, ca femeile au ochii altfel formati iar cei de la Gucci au bani sa aprinda astfel de lumini invizibile). M-as intalnii cu prietenii si as incepe sa spun si eu glume vechi si/sau proaste ( rare femeile care spun o gluma noua sau buna) observand cum baietii rad la ele nu pentru ca sunt bune ci doar pentru ca am decolteu, problema e ca de data asta as sti, si normal, primu care rade e cel care va face sex cu mine. De data asta l-as lua undeva prin parc, sa-si dea drumul in parul meu, ca sa pot merge slobozit maxim prin parc sa aud femeile cum striga “Curva dracu penala” si baietii cum intorc capul si imi spun “Hmmmm …. buna”
Dupa cateva partide de sex in baie si parc, as incerca sa agat un baiat cu un 760 LI sa ma duca pe moca acasa iar eu sa nu-i dau numarul de telefon, sa fac un dus si sa ma pregatesc pentru o noapte fierbinte de clubbing, ca doar e ora 17:00 si pana la 22:00 mai e ceva. Sa stau sa ma aranjez cate 5 ore pentru a nu putea sa ma misc sau sa merg relaxat, sa am o tona de prafuri pe fata doar pentru a nu putea sa torn bautura pe fata sau sa plang.
Ajunsa in club, as intra pe moca ( aaahhh ce sef e sa fi femeie) ca doar i-am atins testicolele bodyguardului. As sta la masa, refuzand toti baietii care ma baga in seama pentru ca arat bine ( cu toate ca eu de asta m-am machiat si imbracat frumos) as bea si eu in sfarsit apa plata cu lamaie ( OMG yey ) cate trei ore pentru fiecare sticla si nu m-as misca deloc de pe canapea fiind foarte ocupata cu privitul altor fete mai frumoase ca mine, dar pe care le-as critica oricum ( panaramele dracu)
Pe la ora 4 A.M. se face de plecat, ca doar am ramas fara luciu de buze, dandu-ma cu el de fiecare data cand luam o gura de apa plata. In drum spre casa o herghelie de baieti ma baga in seama si imi spun ca sunt frumoasa, dar eu nu-i bag in seama, surprinzator e ca unul din ei a facut sex cu mine in drum spre taxi cu toate ca eu i-am zis ca nu vreau, dar acum nah, mi-a zis ca am buzele frumoase si trebuia sa-l rasplatesc cumva nu?
Ajunsa acasa pe la ora 5 A.M. as sta inca o ora sa ma demachiez si abia dupa aia as face nani. Offf pe scurt a fost frumos … Sex,sex,gucci,sex, clubbing,injurat femei frumoase,sex,somn.
Sa vina dracu vremea Shape Shiftingului, sa trag tare ca femeie ca nu se mai poate.
145 Responses to “Shapeshifting”
si daca ai fi cea mai grasa si urata femeie?
(oricum faptul ca ai vrea sa sugi o pula ma baga la dubii :-s)
Aoleu Jipa, iar vi cu raghila dupa tine ? Esti shushoiu sa moara Ciprian. Du-te-n Bacau si stai acolo, sa nu mai aud de tine
bine, ma, bine… alt scenariu: daca ai fi o bunaciune gen monica columbeanu si ai fi cumparata de niste tigani din braila ca sa te prostituezi (tot a la monica columbeanu) ?
Daca mi-ar place sa cum ? Da frate, normal .. oricum o sa fiu femeie doar 1 saptamana deci e bine sa incerci in saptamana aia toate laturile unei femei, viol, prostitutie, prosteala, muie, sloboz, bani pe moca, magazine, job, sutiene .. da chiar sutiene
))
si ca sa continui in nota asta… da, sutiene ai putea purta de pe acum :-”
Inca port, le-am luat de la Maria, dar sunt prea mici
gresit, sunt pentru sani lungi aia ai Mariei
Nici nu vreau sa ma gandesc cum anume ai observat tu ca Maria are sani lungi. Ai 24 de ani Jipa, inca mai faci baie cu ma-ta-n cada ? Sau ti-a zis Wolly ?
nu, ba, nu am observat asta. doar am dedus in functie de varsta
da baboi…as vrea sa fii femeie sa vad cum e sa bati o femeie p bune,adica pumni picioare in cap tot tacimul
ca plm e un test si s-ar putea sa ramai cu o experienta de viata
grasule, daca o sa fii femeie.. pot sa iti dau eu la muie? =))
hahahahahahahaha. Da frate cum sa nu, daca ma fac femeie va sug pe toti
)) asa vedem amandoi cum e sa sugi si sa fi supt.
pai am zis ca iti dau ma, nu ca iti fac
Jipa, incercarea ta de a fi amuzant in ultimul comment … a esuat. Please die
Oauuu..coool
Hi, interest post. I’ll write you later about few questions!
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